I’m not too much; this room is underbuilt.
If you’re AuDHD, asking for accommodations at work usually feels like you’re asking for a massive, unearned favor. You feel like you’re “trouble,” or like you’re “less than” your coworkers because you can’t handle the open-plan office roar or the back-to-back Zoom calls without wanting to claw your own skin off.
Cute, but no.
Accommodations aren’t a favor. They are environmental optimizations. If you were a high-end graphic designer, you wouldn’t apologize for needing the right software to do your job. If you were a surgeon, you wouldn’t apologize for needing sterilized tools. Your brain is a high-end tool. If the office environment is underbuilt for that tool, that’s not your fault. It’s an infrastructure failure.
You don’t need “mercy”; you need a room that’s actually functional.
Section 1: What People Get Wrong (The “Small” Ask)
Most people try to “soften” their requests. They say, “Is it okay if I maybe wear headphones sometimes?” or “I’m sorry, I’m just a bit sensitive to light.”
This is a tactical disaster. It invites negotiation. It makes your needs sound optional, like a preference for a specific type of coffee. It frames your neurodivergence as a weakness you’re trying to manage, instead of a biological reality you’re optimizing for.
When you apologize for your needs, you are subconsciously telling your boss that you are an inconvenience. You are reinforcing the idea that “normal” is the goal and you are “failing” to meet it.
No mask, just method. Stop trying to fit into the underbuilt room. Start demanding a room that fits the protagonist.
Section 2: Why It Happens (Infrastructure Failure)
We live in a world designed for a specific type of sensory filter. The “average” office is built for someone who can effortlessly tune out background noise, flickering lights, and the “vibration” of 50 other people’s nervous systems.
If you can’t do that, it’s not because you’re “broken.” It’s because the office is built with low-quality sensory infrastructure. You aren’t “too sensitive”; the office is too loud/bright/chaotic.
Recognizing this shifts the power dynamic. You aren’t asking for a change to “help you fit in.” You’re asking for a change to maximize your output.
Section 3: What Actually Helps (Riot’s Method)
This is how you take up space in a professional environment without losing your soul.
1. Drop the Apology
Do not say “I’m sorry” during an accommodation meeting. You aren’t sorry. You’re being a professional by ensuring you can deliver your best work.
- The move: Replace “I’m sorry for needing this” with “To ensure I’m operating at 100% capacity.”
2. Frame it as Productivity (The 30% Rule)
Every request should be tied to a specific business outcome.
- Weak: “I need a quiet space.”
- Strong: “I deliver 30% more deep-work output when I’m not being interrupted by the auditory noise of the main floor. Moving my desk to the quiet quadrant is a net gain for the project timeline.”
3. Be Explicit, Not Tentative
Use “I require” or “I need” instead of “I was wondering if” or “Maybe it would be okay if.”
- The move: “I require the meeting agenda 24 hours in advance to process the data effectively. Without it, my real-time processing bottleneck reduces my ability to contribute.”
4. Know Your Non-Negotiables
Some things are preferences. Some things are requirements for survival.
- If blue-heavy LEDs give you migraines, that’s a non-negotiable.
- If back-to-back meetings cause a system shutdown, that’s a non-negotiable.
- Protect your energy like it’s designer. If they won’t give you what you need to survive, they don’t deserve the output you provide when you’re thriving.
Section 4: The ‘Room-Builder’ Persona at Work
The Room-Builder doesn’t wait for permission to be comfortable. They take over the space they are in and reorganize it until it functions.
- The Desk Audit: If the lights are too bright, buy a desk lamp and turn off the overheads.
- The Audio Shield: Wear your noise-canceling headphones as a permanent part of your “uniform.”
- The Social Boundary: If someone approaches your desk during a deep-work block, don’t remove your headphones. Signal “one minute,” finish your thought, and then address them.
You are teaching people how to interact with a high-performance system. If they want the data, they follow the protocols.
Section 5: Script Pack (Professional Rebellion)
Use these to maintain the vibe without the “social hangover” of over-explaining.
The Initial Request
“To ensure I’m delivering at the highest level, I require two specific environmental optimizations: a dedicated quiet zone for my deep-work blocks and all meeting agendas sent 24 hours in advance. This removes the sensory and processing bottlenecks that currently limit my efficiency.”
Decoding “Everyone else handles it”
Boss: “I understand, but nobody else has a problem with the open office.” You: “I understand that the current infrastructure works for the majority, but it is a direct inhibitor to my specific cognitive profile. Providing these adjustments isn’t about ‘fairness’ across the team—it’s about ensuring each team member has the tools they need to produce their best output.”
The “Body Says No” Boundary
“I’ve reached my sensory limit for this meeting. My processing speed has dropped to a level where continued attendance is an inefficient use of company time. I’m stepping away now to hit my recovery protocol and will provide my final notes in writing by EOD.”
Section 6: Aftercare / Reset Plan
Advocating for yourself at work is emotionally precise and high-intensity. Even when you’re unapologetic, the social “echo” can be loud.
- Immediate: 15 minutes of staring at a wall in total silence. No phone, no input. Let the adrenaline fade.
- Short-term: Do not “check in” to see if people are “mad” at you. You stated a requirement; their emotional reaction to your boundaries is not your energy expense.
- Ongoing: Schedule a “No-Mask Day” once a week where you strictly follow your new accommodations without exception.
Try This Tonight: The Infrastructure Audit
Pick the one thing at work that makes you want to crawl under your desk. Maybe it’s the way your coworker eats loudly, or the flickering light in the hallway, or the “mandatory” social lunch.
Write down exactly how you would ask for it to be changed if you were a high-paid consultant who didn’t care about being “liked,” only about “efficiency.”
Run that script tomorrow. You aren’t “too much”; you’re just a high-fidelity signal in an underbuilt room. Build the room.
Checklist: The Unapologetic Ask
- Did I say ‘I’m sorry’? (If yes, start over).
- Did I tie it to an ‘Efficiency Gain’?
- Did I use ‘I require’ instead of ‘Maybe’?
- Is there a written record?
Belong on your own settings. Radical independence is the only usable baseline.