Belong on your own settings.
Riot: If you’ve spent most of your life trying to squeeze your AuDHD brain into a low-res neurotypical-shaped box, you already know it doesn’t work. It’s exhausting, it’s unsustainable, and it usually ends in a dark room with a weighted blanket and zero capacity for speech. It’s not rocket appliances.
Leviticus: We’re done with that simulation error.
This guide isn’t about “fixing” your autism or ADHD hardware. It’s not about finding ways to blend in more effectively or learning how to tolerate the insufferable drone of open-plan offices without wanting to scream. It’s about building a simulation life that actually fits your sensory and metabolic needs, especially if you actually like going out, being social, and experiencing high-vibration environments.
We call this The New Baseline.
Most traditional autism advice is written for people who want to be more “normal.” It gives you scripts for small talk you hate and strategies for eye contact you don’t care about. We’re coming from a different angle: No mask, just method. We assume you want to be yourself without the self-destruction.
The Problem with Traditional Advice
The world loves “inspiration porn.” They want stories about neurodivergent people who “overcame” their challenges to fit into the system. They want you to be the “good” autistic—the one who works twice as hard for half the pay and never complains about the flickering lights.
Fuck that.
We’re here to talk about the reality of being social, social-literate, and radically neurodivergent. We like the bass in a warehouse EDM show. We like the energy of a crowded street. We like the intensity of our specialized interests. What we don’t like is the cost of pretending we’re neurotypical while we do it.
Section 1: Leviticus Take (The Mechanics of Belonging)
I focus on the mechanics. If you don’t have a plan for your exit route and a hydration strategy, you’re setting yourself up for a crash. For me, structure isn’t a cage; it’s freedom.
The Energy Budget as the Only Valid KPI
In most corporate environments, they talk about KPIs (Key Performance Indicators). In my life, there is only one KPI that matters: The Energy Budget.
Masking is expensive. It’s a high-bandwidth task that eats your CPU. If you spend 80% of your energy appearing “normal,” you only have 20% left for actual life. My strategy is to drop the masking cost to zero so I can spend that 80% on things that actually matter—my work, my interests, and the people I actually like.
Planning the Exit Before the Entrance
I never walk into a room without knowing exactly how I’m going to leave it. This isn’t anxiety; it’s logistics.
- The Hard Leave Time: I decide before I arrive when I’m leaving. No exceptions.
- The Non-Verbal Signal: If I’m with a partner or friend, we have a signal that means “I’m hit. We leave in 10 minutes.”
- The Buffer Zone: I plan for travel time and decompression time as part of the event. If a party is 3 hours, the total energy commitment is 5 hours.
Make it usable. If it isn’t usable, it’s noise. Run the pattern, not the panic.
Section 2: Riot Take (The Rejection of “Fake Fitting-In”)
I’m here for the vibe and the truth. You aren’t broken for needing a break, and you aren’t “too much” for having needs. Most of our lives are spent being tone-policed by people who couldn’t navigate a sensory storm for five minutes without collapsing.
Protagonist Energy vs. Peer Pressure
We’ve been taught that being neurodivergent is something to hide. I say we make it our protagonist energy.
I wear flashy clothes because they make me feel like a main character, not because I want your validation. I stim in public because it keeps my brain regulated. I wear my high-fidelity earplugs like a statement accessory.
No fake fitting-in. If a group only likes me when I’m masked up and playing “quiet and polite,” then that group is statistically insignificant to my happiness. I am not “too much”; their social settings are just restricted and underbuilt.
High-Vibration Regulation
Let’s talk about EDM and Punk. People think because we’re autistic, we need “peace and quiet.”
Cute, but no.
Sometimes I need the bass to vibrate the shame right out of my bones. I need the energy of a dance floor to reset my nervous system. Dancing isn’t just “fun”; it’s a massive sensory release. The trick is doing it without the self-destruction. You can be the loudest person in the room and still have the strongest boundaries.
Protect your energy like it’s designer.
Section 3: Where We Disagree
Leviticus: I prefer a perfectly curated, low-ambiguity schedule. If a plan changes at the last minute, the energy cost doubles. I’d rather miss an event than go in without a tactical map.
Riot: I like the mystery of a warehouse location. I like the spontaneity. But I manage it by having my “safety kit” (earplugs, hydration, boots) ready at all times. I don’t need a map if I have my armor.
Leviticus: That sounds like a high-risk strategy.
Riot: It’s the difference between a project manager and a performer. Both get the job done, but the energy profile is different.
Section 4: What We Both Recommend (The Core)
Despite our different styles, our results are the same: Belonging on our own settings.
1. Optimize Your Sensory Armor
Don’t wait for the world to accommodate you. It won’t.
- Hearing: High-fidelity earplugs (like Loops or personalized molds). They drop the noise but keep the music.
- Vision: Polarized lenses. Even indoors if the lights are harsh.
- Texture: Sensory-safe outfits. If it itches, it’s a threat. Throw it out.
2. Standardize Your Reset
Recovery isn’t “lazy”; it’s mandatory maintenance.
- The 1:2 Ratio: For every hour of high-stim social activity, you need two hours of zero-demand recovery.
- The Darkness Protocol: Low lights, no screens, no verbal input for at least 60 minutes after a big event.
3. Tactical Communication
Stop explaining your “why” and start stating your “how.”
- Bad: “I’m sorry, I have autism so I might need to leave because it’s too loud and I’m stressed.”
- Good: “I’m hitting my limit for high-stim environments. I’m heading out now. See you next time.”
Scripts for Real Moments
When someone asks why you’re wearing earplugs
“I’m optimizing my sensory input so I can actually enjoy being here. It’s a feature, not a bug.”
When you need to decline an “obligatory” social event
“I don’t have the capacity for high-demand social settings this week. I’m focusing on my recovery protocol. Enjoy the night.”
When you’re stimming and someone stares
“This is how I regulate. It’s part of the method. Do you have a question about the work, or are you just admiring the efficiency?”
Checklist: If You Only Do 3 Things
- Buy the Gear: High-fidelity earplugs and polarized lenses are non-negotiable.
- Audit One Habit: Stop pretending to enjoy one thing this week. Just one. See how much energy you get back.
- Declare Your Baseline: Stop apologizing for your needs. State them as facts. Physics doesn’t apologize, and neither should you.
Welcome to the Guide. Let’s build the room.